I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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