Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
