is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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