Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
