so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
