you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
