no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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