yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sacagawea was the original milf.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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