I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
