The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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