a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need to sanitize my soul.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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