I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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