D3 body, D1 cock
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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