are you so shy because you have an std?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
