If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
