Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My life is pants optional.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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