I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
