Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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