No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thus making me awesome and them whores
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
What a dumb baby whore.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
