"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
