Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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