with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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