doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
