Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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