Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
