I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
