i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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