I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
