i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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