He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
