It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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