You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
