There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
