Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
