If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
