You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
