she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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