I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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