did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
