: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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