Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This is my life. Enjoy the view
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
