That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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