There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
