I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
