well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
