Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
