i think my tv is drunk
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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