I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
