why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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