I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
