He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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