I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
