I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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