Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
